Friday, August 6, 2004

Tessa, A Million Apologies

I struggle to find the right words.

I am sorry that you were not given a chance, a real chance, to find the loving, attentive home that you desired, that you deserved.

I am sorry that your greatest fault was loving people too much.

I am sorry that this world failed you.

I am sorry that you will never be able to be the Tessa you could have been.

I am sorry that i was not able to save you. I tried sweet girl, I really did. I should have tried harder. Should have been more insistent.

Most of all, I am sorry that others were not willing to do every damn thing in their human power to help you.

And, I am sorry I did not get to say goodbye.

I will miss your beautiful toothy grin, your boundless energy, the way you sat immediately at my feet for attention, even though you really just wanted to leap onto me and smother me with sloppy doggle kisses, your astonishing ability to love.

I grieve for you as if you were one of my own.

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